Building Stronger Men: Brotherhood, Leadership, and Legacy ft. George Hayworth

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:15:23
Unknown
Any of this kind of ultra red pill idea of go be just this, like, badass and get as many cars and as much money as you can get. Have all the women and and this kind of mentality that's like what a teenage boy thinks masculinity is. And it sounds cool because he's got all this stuff right in it.

00:00:15:23 - 00:00:39:11
Unknown
Oh, you'll have lots of sex, right? But it's unfulfilling. It's not meaningful. There's no actual value in that. Men should be thinking in terms of generations. But most of us today think in terms of today or this week, like, oh no, I got to get through the workweek. So I get to the weekend and drink more beer. If you feel like you're just addicted to anything, that should be a massive wake up call that probably don't really have a great vision of the future you're trying to work towards.

00:00:39:12 - 00:00:59:18
Unknown
You're just drifting, bro. It doesn't matter if someone else calls you toxic. It doesn't matter if someone doesn't like what you're doing, whatever. If it's genuinely a good thing, it's the right thing for you and the right thing for your family. Who cares? You need to stand up and have the ability to say no. We have very different viewpoints on many things, but a lot of these issues are American issues.

00:00:59:18 - 00:01:05:21
Unknown
They're not Republican or Democrat issues.

00:01:05:23 - 00:01:30:21
Unknown
Welcome back to another episode of Elevated Thoughts. Today we have the pleasure of being joined by our personal friend, George Hayworth, who now runs the coaching business, elite Sentinel. How are you, George? Good man. It's good to be here. And, thanks for the opportunity. Yeah, well, we're happy to have you. Actually, the way that we met you is through, a little bit of our podcast network that we're in because you're one of the hosts of the present father's podcast, right?

00:01:30:21 - 00:01:48:02
Unknown
That's correct. Yeah. Awesome. And we also had Dustin on the show a couple of weeks ago. But it's awesome to have you on and share some of your unique experience. We see some of the stuff behind you there, including Elite Sentinel, but maybe some military stuff. Can you talk to us a little bit about what your background is, some of your credentials, and then maybe we'll get started?

00:01:48:04 - 00:02:04:15
Unknown
Yeah. So I'll get the boring formal intro piece out of the way and then we can go into my background, but, you know, some George Hayworth. First and foremost, a husband and father, been married over 11 years now. My daughter's nine. And then, like I said, I'm the founder and CEO of Elite Central Coaching, where we forge leaders and build legacies.

00:02:04:17 - 00:02:27:00
Unknown
Then I'm also the co-founder and co-host of the President Fathers podcast with my three co-hosts. So we've got an army over there. But that's similar mission. They're just teaching men how to be better fathers and hopefully making a generational impact there by just empowering guys in that way. And then outside of all of that, I'm also, a kind of a partner, coach and asset in Precision Components, founded by Nick Lavery.

00:02:27:00 - 00:02:45:14
Unknown
And, I do a lot of kind of speaking and coaching there as well. So, I'm spread all over the place. Well, there's a lot of things. So you mentioned that you have three other co-hosts, so you're one of four of the Present Fathers podcast. And one of the things that you guys talk about a lot, and that we talk about online as well, is the need for community for men.

00:02:45:14 - 00:03:09:08
Unknown
So actually, it's pretty fitting, right, that you have four guys. Definitely. And that's something that you talk about a lot in male loneliness. Can you go into a little bit about why you took an interest in that, and why you kind of ran with it to now approach men and do men's coaching? Yeah. So I mean, I'll just loosely tie it to my background real quick and then kind of answer that question that way is, you know, I had like a lot of friends, but very superficial.

00:03:09:08 - 00:03:27:00
Unknown
Right. And the way I was raised, I wasn't really if I, if I'm really honest, I wasn't equipped with the tools to really be a good man. Right. I had some of the picture, but not the whole picture. And I think, you know, a lot of guys can probably relate to that statement where it maybe were raised by a single mom, or maybe, maybe your dad was kind of absentee, or just maybe he didn't know better.

00:03:27:00 - 00:03:45:16
Unknown
I need to know how to be present and engage with you and actually teach you things you needed to know, like, other than just the basics, right? So, you know, we kind of have this crisis in American culture of not actually drawing the man out of the boy. Right? And now there's this infinite number of distractions video games, booze, you know, porn.

00:03:45:18 - 00:04:11:06
Unknown
There's about to be eye porn, you know, just everywhere you can get it. So, you know, there's a lot of distractions to basically keep men stuck in the adolescent phase. And then a big component that, too, is there's just this breakdown of men getting together and, like, doing hard, you know what I mean? Like, pardon my French, but, you know, back go back 102 hundred years like men just got together and like, did hard things like you were you were farming or you I mean, you were working hard together.

00:04:11:06 - 00:04:28:12
Unknown
And that kind of shared experience forged a little bit more of kind of that community sense today. Men are really disconnected. I mean, it's just so easy to completely isolate because you wake up, go to work, come home, you drink three beers, watch the football game and go to bed and like you haven't interacted honestly with anyone to any level.

00:04:28:18 - 00:04:45:22
Unknown
And that's where most men are, I think, really stuck, at least in the Western world. And so, you know, when I look back on kind of my experience is not having a great background and, and really kind of being this teenager trapped in a man's body, kind of acting like a man. You know, I made a lot of enemies, was really reactionary.

00:04:45:22 - 00:05:08:11
Unknown
Really defensive. And it caused a lot of problems in my life. And as I've grown as a man later in life and now understand this stuff very fully, one of those key components to just becoming a better man is having better men around you. It's just the way it works. You can read every self-help book, you can hire every coach, you can do everything you want, but if it's just about you, you're going to be limited.

00:05:08:11 - 00:05:29:00
Unknown
Like you're just not going to smash these certain barriers because you're just one guy. You think about things one way. You need a team around you. And I think men are just inherently designed that way, too. We kind of need that pack around us. You should be independent. You should be self-sufficient, all those things. But it's a lot easier to be that when you also have, like, a whole team of dudes just like that.

00:05:29:00 - 00:05:49:06
Unknown
Being like, yeah, bro, you're doing the right thing or no, hang on, maybe, maybe think that through a little bit. So that's why brotherhood so important. And that's one of the core elements of our course actually, is you know, I'll teach you all these amazing things and get you to this high level, but it's the relationships you're making with the other guys in your class that really kind of takes it that next level and really empowers men.

00:05:49:06 - 00:06:03:07
Unknown
So, that was a little long winded, but I think it kind of opens the door to a lot of things we were trying to get into. And yeah, that and just also back to the podcast, you know, it's the four of us. We've been friends for a very, very long time. They're my core group, you know.

00:06:03:07 - 00:06:19:16
Unknown
And so that is my kind of my battle buddy system. Right? If I've got a problem, I'm bringing it to them. I mean, our text thread goes back for like a decade, and it's every day it's just hundreds of messages. Right. And and it's not like because we're distracting each other, we're talking about real things or, hey, I got this or that, or how do I do this?

00:06:19:16 - 00:06:40:17
Unknown
And, you know, we're helping each other on the regular and most guys I don't think have that, at least not to that degree. So, that's that's why it's so important. There's two quotes that kind of stick out to me that kind of sums up what you were talking about. Right? So it's you are the, you know, the some of the five closest people that you associate with and then, a good or rather, a best friend is a good mirror.

00:06:40:17 - 00:06:56:21
Unknown
Right? So they're going to be honest with you, they're not just going to pump you up and be your height, man. They're also going to let you know when you're falling astray or falling from that path. But there is another thing I want to kind of get into because, having those people around you, right? They allow you to see good role models and let you to be a good role model.

00:06:56:21 - 00:07:16:10
Unknown
But I think what a, a big problem in society today is trying to discern, as Cooper was touching on early on in the show, is toxic masculinity versus positive, you know, images and, you know, forms of masculinity. And I'm sure you tell us all the time in our chats. Right. If you go on Instagram and Reddit immediately, you know, they get people jumping down your throat as soon as you try to present a good image of masculinity.

00:07:16:10 - 00:07:38:13
Unknown
So, also another thing not to keep being wounded myself, but another quote that Dustin kind of said is right. It's not just saying what you shouldn't do, but also what you should do. So maybe you can tell us about what it's like to be a positive male role model. Definitely. So, you know, the way I summarize this very succinctly, I actually learned it from a book called, Tender Warrior, written by Stu Weber.

00:07:38:13 - 00:07:53:17
Unknown
He was a Green Beret Special Forces in Vietnam. And then after the war, he basically made a pact with God and became a pastor for the rest of his life. Right. But he really define masculinity by based on these four pillars. And it was so impactful to me. He, you know, he did this in a single chapter.

00:07:53:18 - 00:08:17:03
Unknown
I made it the foundation of what we do in this program. And I don't think there's a better way to describe what a true masculine man is without these four pillars. And so it's king, warrior, mentor and friend or lover, right? And so at a high level, very quickly, king is for leadership, right? You're built to lead. When you lead and do it well, it's a service and blessing to others that the Warrior pillar is pretty self-explanatory.

00:08:17:03 - 00:08:37:10
Unknown
You should be physically dangerous, able to, you know, do battle. But in today's day and age, it's not just the physical piece. Most of the threats are, you know, on the internet or on the shows your kids are watching. So there's a lot of things that are kind of intangible where men need to have kind of this strength of heart and character to be able to speak out against the things they don't believe in.

00:08:37:10 - 00:08:57:07
Unknown
Right? That's that's a big piece of the warrior pillar. The mental one is just, you know, helping others. It's that desire to help others reach their maximum potential. And when men do that well, it's very fulfilling to the man himself. And then it's fulfilling to the person too, because now they are, you know, improving their performance. But that also requires the man to gain mastery himself before you can actually teach anyone else.

00:08:57:07 - 00:09:20:07
Unknown
So it's kind of that nice, you know, positive cycle there. And then the last one is really what elevates masculinity. So this is where a guy like Andrew Tate kind of looks the part. Right? But then he's missing this last pillar and it's the friend and lover and this is where it when a man is genuinely concerned about loving others, making positive outcomes for others, having emotional intelligence, empathy, compassion, right.

00:09:20:07 - 00:09:39:18
Unknown
These things we don't typically associate with masculinity are actually what elevates all of the other masculine traits to be that much more effective, right? You want to be a better leader, know and understand your people. There was a great saying I learned very early on in my military career was, love your people and do what's right. I just followed that guidance my whole career and it never served me wrong.

00:09:39:18 - 00:09:54:04
Unknown
Right? Because at the end of the day, if your people know you love them, they're going to work a lot harder for you, and they're also going to give you grace when you mess up as a leader, right? So every pillar there is just amplified by that love. So to get into what men should be doing versus what they shouldn't be doing.

00:09:54:04 - 00:10:11:06
Unknown
So I already mentioned like tape, but write any of this kind of ultra red pill idea of like, you know, go be just this, like, badass and get as many cars and as much money as you can get and, you know, have all the women and, and this kind of mentality that's like what a teenage boy thinks masculinity is.

00:10:11:06 - 00:10:30:05
Unknown
Right. Like that's what that's what. Like one of the pillars looks like. Right? Where it's it's very one dimensional in a real good masculine man is kind of the right thing at the right time, in the right place with my family, I don't need to be the warrior, basically, ever, right? They don't need to see that. That's for the world to get right.

00:10:30:05 - 00:10:53:17
Unknown
That's for the evil doers to see George the warrior with my family, I need to be maximum empathy, patience, understanding, stoicism, emotional regulation. Right. These things are what actually protect my family. For real. Because guys, if you're married or have kids, the number one threat to your family is probably you losing your temper straight up. And I kind of recognized that for myself.

00:10:53:17 - 00:11:08:04
Unknown
That was a really hard to swallow pill. But so that's a little bit of kind of the differences. And I don't know how deep you want to go on what men should or shouldn't do. But at the end of the day, like if you are genuinely concerned about what your actions do for other people, you're on the right track, right?

00:11:08:04 - 00:11:22:14
Unknown
Because you're thinking about the second and third order effects. A guy like Tate saying, you just go sleep with as many women as you want to have as many babies as you want to, with as many women as you want. He's not thinking about anyone, but number one, and that's what teenage boys do. And it sounds cool because he's got all this stuff, right?

00:11:22:14 - 00:11:40:06
Unknown
And it oh, you'll have lots of sex, right? But it's unfulfilling. It's not meaningful. There's no actual value in that. And I know because I was organized for a while, right? I kind of tank my life for a while, and I was a womanizer. And I've been down that rabbit hole, man. It's empty. It's just this huge, empty void promises you everything and it doesn't give you anything.

00:11:40:06 - 00:11:58:15
Unknown
So yeah, I recall, like Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson, actually, it was around the time Elon bought X or Twitter at that point and kind of had this resurgence of all of these voices that had been subjugated from society and Andrew Tate being one of them. I'm so glad you brought him up, because he is like the perfect example of what I was saying was Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson.

00:11:58:15 - 00:12:19:11
Unknown
They both kind of made these comments like, listen, what he's saying, a lot of it's valid, a lot of it makes sense. But the accent I probably agree with. Right, exactly. But then he pushes that envelope just at one stage too far, I, I just sent a real it was as a joke to my wife, but it was him saying, we're like screaming into a microphone, you know, woman, you you need to back up and let me do what I need to do.

00:12:19:12 - 00:12:39:05
Unknown
You enjoy the fruits of my labor and you can sit there and listen. You know what it was like? My goodness. You know, it gives masculinity a bad name, and that's where it bleeds into that toxic masculinity. But but there's another aspect actually. And we talked about online a little bit. So you, you have a large presence online and the podcast of course, by the way congratulations you guys.

00:12:39:05 - 00:13:02:00
Unknown
He laughs 20,000. You probably more by the time this comes out. So that's freaking awesome. Thank you. But that shows that the online world social media can actually be a good thing, can actually be productive and spread healthy messaging. So you mentioned that having is loneliness, right? Today's men are experiencing tremendous loneliness. And I have to imagine that the online world and social media kind of contagion is contributing in.

00:13:02:00 - 00:13:21:10
Unknown
So that way I least you. Yeah. Well sorry. Go ahead. I was going to say, how do you find a way to balance, like real life with social media and make sure that you don't kind of fall into that trap of, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling. That's what a lot of people do. And they get their dopamine receptors all messed up and they find that they can't get out of bed.

00:13:21:10 - 00:13:38:06
Unknown
So how do you balance the online life and the loneliness with being a productive member of society and getting outreach to help people? Yeah, I think this stems back to just the four pillars here. Honestly, you know, a man on a mission, a man with purpose defined for himself, a man with a vision for the future. So part of the King Pillar.

00:13:38:06 - 00:13:54:23
Unknown
Is that forward thinking mindset, right? You're you're the one who's responsible for planning the next steps to get to your destination. You know, could you guys describe for me right now what you want your life to look like ten years from now in a lot of detail, you know that that's the kind of sign you're not ten, right?

00:13:55:01 - 00:14:11:05
Unknown
So but like, men should be thinking in terms of generations, but most of us really think in terms of today or this week, we're like, oh, do I got to get through the workweek so I can get to the weekend and drink more beer? Right? Like that's how most guys are thinking today. Your job is to think in terms of generation.

00:14:11:05 - 00:14:25:12
Unknown
So in terms of like being distracted by social media or video games or any of that kind of stuff, that to me is just a symptom of a man who has zero purpose. His he has zero mission in his life to actually conquering and moving forward on, like, I don't know if you can see it. I've got this guitar over here.

00:14:25:17 - 00:14:40:00
Unknown
I've barely played it all year because I've just been so busy on the things that are so important to me, and I love playing guitar, man. That's like, my outlet is like my mental health thing. And it's not because I've lost the love of it. It's just I, I've got bigger, better things to be focused on right now.

00:14:40:02 - 00:15:00:22
Unknown
So I'm not really trying to dodge your question. I'm trying to help men elevate the way they think. Elevated thoughts here. Right. That are, there is if you're stuck in these cycles, it should be an alarm bell for you. Like, I think I'm not really directing my life. I'm just chasing the next thing. Or, you know, I'm kind of on this loop, right?

00:15:00:22 - 00:15:16:22
Unknown
I'm just stuck in this cycle, and, you know, I just check the boxes, right? So that's not how men are actually designed to be. We should be determining what the next box needs to be. No, there are unavoidable is right. You got to go to work. You gotta put food on the table. Those things are like, you can't change that, right?

00:15:17:00 - 00:15:31:23
Unknown
In most of our lives, there are things that limit us and you've got to block that time for that no matter what. Right. But in that free time, then what are you doing? Are you finding another way to make more income? Or are you building connection with people who need it? Are you volunteering? You know, like and it's not the ax.

00:15:31:23 - 00:15:55:19
Unknown
So the way that I describe it is the man has to grow himself first and then you're able to, like, have the capacity to do the more that you want. Right. So, that concept there, like, you can't fake it. You could go start doing all these extra things that like good men are supposed to do. But if you haven't actually done the work to like, elevate yourself first, it's going to break you at some point because you're you're kind of just acting again.

00:15:55:19 - 00:16:15:20
Unknown
And it's it's more like a mask you're putting on. It's not actually who you've become. So, you know, I really do think that there is no, like, secret to balancing social media stuff. It's just like, you know, for me, most of my business is online, right? That's how I market everything is online. So the temptation inherently kind of is there for me to just always be on the internet.

00:16:15:22 - 00:16:45:10
Unknown
But I've got things I'm doing right now. I'm on client calls. I'm I'm working with people. I'm doing these things. I'm traveling here. Right. So I don't really need to even worry about like, oh, my social media time other than like, oh, it's family time. So I just leave the phone away and go do that, right? So really not trying to dodge the question, but I want guys to really understand that if you feel like you're just addicted to anything, that should be a massive wake up call that you probably aren't living with the four pillars like we described, you probably don't really have a great vision of the future you're trying to work towards.

00:16:45:15 - 00:17:02:21
Unknown
You're just drifting, bro. If you're not a ship with the destination that you're navigating towards, you're literally just going wherever the wind is blowing you. I like the way that you say that. Yeah, I love that. I love that so. So men find themselves in this rut and it's very common, right. And I'm sure it seems overwhelming to then get themselves out of that.

00:17:03:00 - 00:17:17:08
Unknown
What is some advice? And I do want you to eventually get to your coaching and the services that you offer. But what are some of those first steps aside from that wonderful novel you spoke about? What are some other things that men can get go into just yet? That started right, because the first step is always the hardest.

00:17:17:10 - 00:17:36:22
Unknown
I think it's the first thing you have to just kind of wrestle with is how much of me is the problem, right? Is it the way I'm talking to myself? That's a big one, right? You know, most guys have such a negative self-talk. They're so hard on themselves. The world has already beaten you down. And then you're like enemy number one on top of me.

00:17:37:00 - 00:17:52:17
Unknown
Always. I look in the mirror, I get pissed, I go, why can't I lose these 15 pounds? I look like I don't fit in any of my clothes and it does not yield results, I'll tell you that. Yeah, yeah. So what you're actually doing when you do that is you're just breaking yourself down. And so now you're showing up as a watered down version of who you should be everywhere you go.

00:17:52:17 - 00:18:15:11
Unknown
Right? And and it's not like we're going to lie to ourselves. There's a difference, right? The self-talk. You don't want to just like, tell your things. You know, tell yourself sweet nothings, right? It needs to have substance. But most guys are so conditioned to be overly negative. You're kind of like hamstringing yourself to do anything, right? You're so worn down and depleted before you even begin, and you're kind of the one to blame so that that awareness there is like, how do you talk to yourself?

00:18:15:11 - 00:18:33:03
Unknown
And the check there is if someone externally talked to me the way that I'm talking to myself, would I allow that person to be in my life? Man, the answer's probably no. And if it is, then you need to, like, start thinking about these things. I think the other one too, is honestly just find some way to connect with some local guys.

00:18:33:05 - 00:18:46:22
Unknown
Dude, you know, from something. Maybe you're not the best of friends and maybe it's a little scary, but be like, hey, bro, look, I think we got a lot in common. I don't really have a ton of friends. And you just seem like a guy that I could connect with pretty well. Can we go get lunch next week or something?

00:18:47:00 - 00:19:05:15
Unknown
You know, that will do wonders for you. It really will when you actually just start to have some common ground with another group, another dude, because he's going to understand where you're really at. Men have this deep understanding to each other that you're just not going to get from any other type of relationship. And I think that's really essential for guys to kind of get out of their own way.

00:19:05:17 - 00:19:20:04
Unknown
And then the last thing there to that I'd say kind of you could just do on your own, you don't necessarily need to like a course or whatever, is you don't need permission. You do not need permission to do the right thing. It doesn't matter if someone else calls you toxic. It doesn't matter if someone doesn't like what you're doing.

00:19:20:04 - 00:19:39:08
Unknown
Whatever. If it's genuinely a good thing, it's the right thing for you and the right thing for your family. Who cares? You need to stand up and have the ability to say no and pull the boundary. Most men today are crippled by people pleasing and really, it's it's codependency, right? So the clinical term would be codependency, but it's people pleasing.

00:19:39:12 - 00:20:01:18
Unknown
And what that means is you're betraying what you believe to make someone else not be upset. Right. And if you think about it, that's actually insane because what they may want could be extremely unhealthy, but you would rather them not lose their temper or whatever. Right? Have this outburst. So you betray yourself and betray what you believe to appease someone else.

00:20:01:20 - 00:20:22:22
Unknown
I assure you that is the fast track to having very negative mental thoughts, feeling depressed and, potentially going down the road toward suicide. Okay, like it's that serious. And I think that's why it's such a big problem. Is the average American guy is generally a people pleaser. And it's not like you have to be some big barbarian who beats his chest everywhere he goes.

00:20:22:22 - 00:20:49:02
Unknown
Like, this is my standard. It's more of just like, in the moment. You just gently be like, okay, sometimes you just say nothing. Yeah, right. I found that sometimes keeping my opinions to myself is in that context, right? Where I'm having a conversation with somebody where maybe it's getting too heavy. I can kind of tell, whoa, whoa, I better tone it down, because I am going to start to either change the way I feel, or censor or alter the way I feel to kind of accommodate this other person.

00:20:49:04 - 00:21:06:10
Unknown
I tend to just kind of back away when that happens, but at the same time, I'm also maybe I'm not the kind of people pleasing type, but I also don't mind pissing people off. And sometimes I have to dial that back as well. Right. So kind of balancing those four pillars, I love that I'm gonna put those pillars on the screen, like when I go looking for a fight, right?

00:21:06:10 - 00:21:25:22
Unknown
Like I'm not like going around and like trying to bash them. I'm like, this is my standard. Don't cross my line. It's like, no, no, no. Again, I'm a man on a mission. I've got actual things to worry about. And when I cross people that try to cross my lines, generally it's a very light correction. It's not like I'm slapping them over the head with my boundaries and standards.

00:21:25:22 - 00:21:46:02
Unknown
Right. But it's it's kind of just being able to trust yourself enough to hold that line. Most guys think that if they do that, the world will end for them. Like, you know, they're going to get canceled or something. And it's it's just not true. Yeah. And oftentimes you being the one to kind of hold that boundary might be the healthiest thing and the most loving thing that you could do for that other person.

00:21:46:02 - 00:22:07:13
Unknown
Right? Especially if it's a situation where, you know, there's like drug abuse or really unhealthy behaviors, you know, you're being the one to be like, yeah, I don't approve of that might be the most loving thing that happens. That person that day, you know, because it may give them the opportunity to finally go get help. So I if I ever wanted to become a professional tennis player, I'd probably go hire a coach because that's be the best and fastest way.

00:22:07:14 - 00:22:24:03
Unknown
Or if I wanted to go into business for some reason, I'd probably seek some sort of mentor in that field. So I would imagine if I were to sign up for your elite central course, do you go ahead and come hang out with us and make the world easier for us? Is that kind of what I would expect?

00:22:24:05 - 00:22:42:04
Unknown
And, in some ways, yes. But no. So I think I posted that meme yesterday. It's like, it's like a four panel one where it says, you know, when does it get easier, bro? And then it says, it doesn't. And then the guys like, wait, what? And it says you just get stronger. And so that's really the point here is, you know, life's still going to happen.

00:22:42:10 - 00:23:08:00
Unknown
Right? But the difference is when you get some good guidance, actually, you're on a path now you start to understand why you need to be doing things a certain way. So I don't just teach tactics, I teach understanding of the principles so that you don't need me. I want you to to pick up and move out and not have to come back so that you can be independent and just go be a good man without needing like someone in their corner always, you know, giving them the answer.

00:23:08:02 - 00:23:32:09
Unknown
But the, the strength piece there, is, is critical where you now have the knowledge, you rebuild your self-confidence. Now you have that brotherhood around you, right? So those relationships you build through the 12 weeks, those guys are become some of the best friends you've ever had, right? Because you guys are really in it together. Now, when you go out into the world and something crappy happens or it gets hard or whatever, well, you're not the lone wolf anymore.

00:23:32:09 - 00:23:48:05
Unknown
You've got the whole pack to help you, you know, handle this difficult situation. And, so, you know, it's not one thing. It's a lot of things. But yeah, I'm definitely not going to make the world easier for you, but I'm going to make it a lot easier to handle the world. Yeah, yeah, I've seen some of what you've posted where you say you could become you become a multi-tool, right.

00:23:48:05 - 00:24:06:12
Unknown
For any, yeah. Any situation. Or like you said, you just get stronger, better at dealing with those. So, it's very important. And I deal with that a lot in my life. Now, talk to us a little bit about how physical fitness and physicality plays into all of this, because it seems like I could be a pretty good husband, a pretty good father, and a pretty darn good businessman without being physical.

00:24:06:12 - 00:24:26:00
Unknown
So why on earth is that important? Yeah. Great question. You know, we yeah, we live in this very comfortable, comfortable modern world, right? Where again, just rewind. Even like World War Two era, a lot of American families were pretty, like, rural. You know, most people were kind of a family farm. So, like, the average person was exercising for work.

00:24:26:00 - 00:24:40:19
Unknown
Right. Nowadays most of it's on tech. You know, we live in offices and all this kind of stuff. So it's kind of just a natural product of our environment is not necessarily like there's, you know, a demon around every corner and a conspiracy behind it either. But some of it's just kind of the way the world has changed.

00:24:40:22 - 00:25:01:14
Unknown
But for men, inherently, I think we are. We mostly learn through doing and we we make the most progress by doing. And so physical fitness ain't everything, but it's not nothing either. And, I think for the modern man, it is the easiest thing to start training that discipline of doing hard things and then reaping the reward from it.

00:25:01:14 - 00:25:19:13
Unknown
Right? Because even in just a few weeks, you know, if a guy has a really bad diet and he doesn't exercise at all, he's going to lose 10 pounds and feel a lot better in weeks, right? Like literally 2 to 3 weeks. I've had a client lose 10 pounds in like a week and a half just because he started moving his boss that shit, right?

00:25:19:15 - 00:25:54:15
Unknown
Yeah. Started feeling better. So that's kind of like step one is. It's just simple. Guys understand physicality. It's programed in our DNA and you start getting some wins there. It starts stacking that, positive feedback loop of, oh, do hard things get better results. Right. And so, there's also kind of a mental component that ties into it there where, you know, Doctor Angie Ramon and others have done this amazing research that really highlights how, you know, your tolerance for pain and discomfort and, like, discipline itself is actually built in the brain like a muscle itself.

00:25:54:15 - 00:26:20:05
Unknown
So by doing those types of things, it actually increases your capacity to handle that. So, you know, starting with some fitness, getting some wins and stacking that momentum early will translate into handling difficult situations in your marriage or handling difficult situations at work. Also, I think a man's identity is so tied into what he looks like, not necessarily in terms of like how you know, Hollywood handsome you are, but just like, hey, I'm proud of this body I've built, right?

00:26:20:05 - 00:26:36:05
Unknown
I don't need to be Arnold Schwarzenegger to feel good about, like, the way I look. And that's a huge component that the world of trying to tell you doesn't matter. But, like, look, have you met a dude who doesn't want bigger biceps or a six pack? Of course. I mean, you know, I'd love for mine to be bigger.

00:26:36:07 - 00:26:59:12
Unknown
So it's got it's kind of that thing. It's like ingrained in us and that transfers to everything else you do, right? You feel proud about the way you look. If you walk into the boardroom, you're going to speak with more authority. You're going to hold yourself not with some shoulders, but pin back and having this presence. Right. And so again, it's not everything, but it's the great first building block for guys who are just really stuck to get some momentum.

00:26:59:18 - 00:27:16:05
Unknown
And once you get the ball rolling down the hill, it's a lot easier. Start stacking wins after that, right? So stacking wins. That's what I was going to highlight and I'm going to let Mike go the next question. But I just wanted to say I'm I'm pissed. You brought up Andrew Huberman and dopamine in training your brain, because I was going to try to turn you on to that, but of course, you know it already.

00:27:16:05 - 00:27:48:11
Unknown
And I'm going to put it on the screen here. If the only one hasn't seen this, it's long. It's probably three hours. But the Andrew Huberman episode on dopamine and the way that your brain and body reacts to different stimuli, good and bad, it was really transformative for me the way how okay, hit of cocaine will give you this 300% dopamine release, but then you have a 300% dopamine cavern, whereas a cold shower for just three minutes gives you that exact same release, but it doesn't give you that long like it's the come back don't actually go down.

00:27:48:11 - 00:28:02:04
Unknown
Yeah. So it was something that's really cool and really valuable if someone hasn't listened to it. So that's on the screen here. But but actually, George, have you always been a very sorry like I stole from you? No, no, no. But finish it. Finish up. Go ahead. I was going to say, George, have you always been a very physical guy?

00:28:02:04 - 00:28:26:10
Unknown
Like, I could tell you're in really good shape. You have some military insignia behind you, you know. Did you were you skinny dweeb or a fat loser? Or are we always hot, handsome Hollywood hunk? No, man, I was the small kid growing up, right? Really wiry, really small. In high school, my freshman year of high school, I was five foot, 100 pounds, and I played three quarters on JV basketball and then two quarters on varsity.

00:28:26:12 - 00:28:38:22
Unknown
I went to small school, so it sounds better than than I was, but, Yeah, I mean, that was always kind of like that was that was a big part of my thing. Right? As a very insecure had this chip on my shoulder, I got to prove how tough I am and all that kind of stuff because I wasn't physically imposing.

00:28:38:22 - 00:29:03:01
Unknown
Right. Even today, man, I'm. I'm five nine on a good day, you know, 175 80, 180 pounds, you know, pretty physically built, but you're not going to look at me and be like, what a monster, right? Like, I mean, I wish that every dude, the guy towers over me, like, weighs as much as I do, right? So it's like, I know where I stack up in terms of the size thing, but it's more of, yeah, it wasn't always that way.

00:29:03:03 - 00:29:21:08
Unknown
It was really after graduating college. I mean, I was in great shape in high school for sports and stuff, but still not big. I wrestled at 130 as a senior, I commissioned, can I say I weighed 130 in the seventh grade. And I know that because they banned me from Pop Warner. Yeah, but, so I was 18 and weighed 130.

00:29:21:08 - 00:29:48:16
Unknown
Right. I to cut a little bit, you know, 130 ish. Yeah, I, I graduated in commission. I weighed about 140 pounds, man. You know, so like, I had to get my uniform altered later in life, but, I didn't really start really getting fit, like, to where I, like, felt proud about it. Until after the Army, after getting out and, probably around 2018, I'd say, is when I started really making some gains because I do a lot of injuries too, and that like, held me back.

00:29:48:16 - 00:30:02:18
Unknown
But my point there, with all that to say, all that is, no, I didn't always have it. And everyone's going to have a disadvantage, right? Like you may struggle with weight and I struggled with gaining weight and everyone has kind of like something working against them. And it's kind of just that refusal to be the victim and be like, okay, I'm going to figure this thing out.

00:30:03:00 - 00:30:19:09
Unknown
I'm gonna surround myself with people who are going to like, help me get there. And again, the goal isn't to be the fittest dude on planet Earth is not to be David Goggins, right? I don't think anyone can be David Goggins except him. Right? That's not the point. The point is to just make some wins and build your confidence and healthy habits.

00:30:19:09 - 00:30:35:09
Unknown
And for the dads to model it for your family, right? You need to have that authority to tell your family, yeah, you're not going to just eat ice cream with every meal, right? It helps to hold those boundaries if you're living it yourself, right? Sure, sure. Be the example, right? That's right. Lead by example. So I definitely want to talk about the other F-word.

00:30:35:09 - 00:30:53:03
Unknown
And I'm not talking about a four letter word. I'm talking about a five letter one faith. What role does that play? Because I think in today's age, people have a knee jerk reaction because there is a lot of preachy folks out there. But I think you and a lot of the gentlemen in, our Twitter group, they're, you know, they're the perfect example of it is not just preaching, but by living, by that example.

00:30:53:03 - 00:31:08:01
Unknown
So what so what role does it play in your life? Yeah. Well, for me it was huge. Right? So, we don't really go too far in, in my background, but I was not the hero in my story. I was a very bad guy. Right? I destroyed my marriage. I, you know, I, my wife had every reason to leave me.

00:31:08:03 - 00:31:27:19
Unknown
And just very long story short, there, just the way I reacted to everything, I became a very selfish guy. And I ended up cheating on her repeatedly. Right. So I committed the ultimate betrayal a husband can do to his wife. And it was finally at that point that I had been a Christian, right? I had said I was, and I went to church my whole life and all that kind of stuff, but I wasn't real with it, really.

00:31:27:21 - 00:31:48:02
Unknown
And, you know, basically at the end of my rope getting help, I basically just beg God to like, you know, hey, you're back in charge. You know, I don't really have an option here. And, you know, unfortunately, I had already caused all this damage before I got to that point. But, you know, even then, it still took me years to really submit to him.

00:31:48:02 - 00:32:05:16
Unknown
Right. And there's, again, Tender Warrior. There's this concept he talks about how, you know, all men are under authority in some regard. Right? You submit to the president, you submit to your boss like there is some level of being a man under orders. Right. And that and then again, that's like, we should be with a purpose. You should be under orders getting something done.

00:32:05:16 - 00:32:30:14
Unknown
But you know, my faith in God was really the turning point where, George, stop relying on my own understanding of my own strengths and all that kind of stuff and started actually taking ownership and responsibility for my faults and asking for real help, right. And surrounded myself with better men who would actually be in my corner sometimes the kick in the pants I needed and other times, you know, kind of that shoulder to cry on type of thing.

00:32:30:14 - 00:32:50:19
Unknown
And, you know, that transformative experience, not just what God has done in me personally, but the grace that had to exist for my wife to forgive me and to give me multiple chances to repair our marriage. You know, that all started happening. We we'd only been married 3 or 4 years, and here we are, you know, ecstatic, married now over 11.

00:32:50:19 - 00:33:11:05
Unknown
So, you know, that doesn't just happen by accident. It was a lot of hard work. We had to do a lot of work. It's not like we just prayed one time and God sorted it all out. But the heart change that happened within me was really that required piece that never would have happened without my faith. So not trying to push anyone on those beliefs, I'm just sharing what has worked for me and what my experience was.

00:33:11:05 - 00:33:27:12
Unknown
And same with athletes. I know you know it is. You don't have to be a Christian to work with us. And I'm not going to push my beliefs on you, but I do challenge men to think about these things critically, because whether you like it or not, you know, whatever you want to believe, you do have a kind of a spiritual side to you as a human being.

00:33:27:12 - 00:33:45:08
Unknown
It's kind of what separates us from all the other creatures on this planet. Right. And so to deny that you're really setting yourself up to get into this positions where you're going to be another statistic of depression or suicide for, for men, you know, and I don't want that for you. Yeah. I like what you said. I mean, I am not the biggest, believer.

00:33:45:13 - 00:33:59:22
Unknown
I went to church growing up. I got confirmed in the church. But today we don't really go to church. We don't subscribe to that kind of stuff. And, like my immediate family here, but I can see how it definitely helps a lot of people. And actually, you know, I was just going to tie back to something else.

00:33:59:22 - 00:34:18:01
Unknown
One of our other friends is into numerology. I kind of think it's a joke that he likes that, but the point being that if you put your faith in something right, that higher power, if it helps you to find a purpose, if it helps you to find a direction, then perhaps that's a positive thing, right? So it may give a little bit more confusing answers at times if you're reading a horoscope every day.

00:34:18:01 - 00:34:35:00
Unknown
But rather than probably finding a church or a god or a group of people, but putting your faith in something, what you said is exactly right. People have or humans have this spiritual capacity that we do need to fulfill, or fulfillment. Right. Is the other way of saying that. Yep. So it's it's been, interesting.

00:34:35:00 - 00:34:55:02
Unknown
I mean, I guess how would I, I could be a good man without God, right? I could, of course, be a good man. I can go do my job. I can be good for my family, and I can go proceed in my day to day life. But I guess there is this aspect of generosity and giving. Is there charity as part of this, or is it more so?

00:34:55:06 - 00:35:12:09
Unknown
The immediate people around you? Oh, okay. How about this a good man? What would they do for their society or their community that they're in? Do I have to go knock on my neighbor's doors and offer them cookies or is it more about just being there when it is needed? You know what I'm asking? Yeah, yeah, I do.

00:35:12:11 - 00:35:29:21
Unknown
So, you know, I think we're all called to different things, right? We have naturally you have different giftings that you were just born with that aren't going to be the same as me. Right? Like everyone has kind of a different skill set that they can kind of bring to the table. Again, this is why brotherhood is so valuable is because you surround yourself with guys who feel your own weaknesses.

00:35:29:21 - 00:35:50:17
Unknown
But, you know, leaning into what you're good at helps finding purpose and fulfillment a lot easier because it just feels good to feel good, you know? But I think that's where you kind of step up and make that impact. Right? So the real word here that matters is the impact you're making. So maybe you're not a good public speaker like I am.

00:35:50:18 - 00:36:08:16
Unknown
No problem bro. You don't have to get on a podcast and go do this all day. Right? Like maybe you're really good at tutoring children with math. I'm not. But if you're good at that, go do it. Make an impact in the lives of others. And back to your point about like being a good man. Maybe without faith, I think you can.

00:36:08:20 - 00:36:25:06
Unknown
I think it's really challenging. I mean, I tried it my whole life, bro. I did give you a little sneak peek about how well that went for me. You know, I did just by accident. A lot of the guys I look up to, you know, I thought maybe some of them weren't, you know, subscribing to a faith system.

00:36:25:06 - 00:36:42:12
Unknown
And come to find out, actually, pretty much all of them do. And I don't think that's an accident. But, you know, whatever your calling is, whatever your giftings. Right? We can't all be the warrior. We can't all go be like, you know, people will go, thank you for your service. Like, no, just go contribute to society. I was a soldier professionally.

00:36:42:12 - 00:37:01:10
Unknown
That was my calling. But if the whole country was nothing but soldiers, we'd be a pretty crappy country, you know? So that's. You need everyone to just step into what they're naturally gifted towards and then don't be afraid of it. Don't be ashamed of it and just amplify it. Right. Because of the positive impact you will make in generations again is what really counts.

00:37:01:10 - 00:37:21:11
Unknown
And who cares if people on the internet don't agree with you? You know? I mean, yeah, yeah. Hey, well, this show is about finding common ground. Mike, I'm honestly curious. Are you a man of faith? Do you go to church? Do you pray? That kind of stuff? So likewise with you. Grew up in a Catholic church was confirmed and everything, but unfortunately, you know, it's never been a larger part of my life since probably, you know, middle school like that.

00:37:21:12 - 00:37:44:04
Unknown
But I find myself subscribing to the spiritual component. There is there's that feeling that there is just some sort of higher power, be it the universe or be it God. And I definitely appreciate the humility and recognizing a higher power. And it's not just because of worshiping something, but also understanding your human understanding your limitations and giving yourself up to something.

00:37:44:04 - 00:38:09:18
Unknown
So you could better yourself. Because without that, sometimes you feel that you are a god and you are perfect, or at least you don't feel you need to change because this is the way I am. But obviously, you know, that's not always the best versions of ourselves, and that's a lifelong journey to get there. So something I did want to talk about is what are some of the feedback that you've had since you, you know, you launched your course and what some of the transformations you've seen in some of the men you work without, you know, going into too many personal details, but just, you know, a nice, bird's eye view of,

00:38:09:21 - 00:38:27:03
Unknown
how they're doing through it. Yeah. For sure. So, you know, there's about, about 35 guys who have come through the program as of this recording. We're about to start our next cohort. And we've got about 12 signed up. Now, the goal is to get to 20. So we got a few more weeks before we start to get there.

00:38:27:03 - 00:38:48:03
Unknown
So I'm pretty confident we'll get there. So that's, you know, in just a few months we'll have over 50 guys have already gone through this. You know, one guy joined because he's really looking to step up and his leadership at work, he now just got this huge promotion, in three months. Right. He had changed that much and stepped up that much at work that he kind of became the guy that was like unanimously the decision.

00:38:48:05 - 00:39:02:18
Unknown
So that's like one example. Pretty much all the guys are feeling more confident and sure of what they should be doing in just a week or two. And for some of the guys who had a lot of ground to cover, you can just see it in their faces, right? When they join the calls for the first week or two.

00:39:02:19 - 00:39:21:20
Unknown
They're really guarded. They're really, like, nervous. They're not sure about this thing. And you can just see them light up, right. There's just a lightness to their presence when they start showing up week after week. And you know, guys, their relationships have strengthened with their wives. It's natural. It's a natural advantage of what you're going to learn when you start becoming a better man.

00:39:21:20 - 00:39:42:18
Unknown
Your wife's going to eventually respond to it positively because it feels good to have a better husband around, you know? So a lot of those guys have learned how to lead with love, still hold boundaries and kind of be firm on the things that need to be firm, but not like, you know, fight about it. And, a lot of them have had really positive gains within their marriages there.

00:39:42:23 - 00:39:59:11
Unknown
Which then in turn is blessing their whole family. And, you know, really the Brotherhood piece. So class one, when they graduated, every single guy in at the in the last call, they were kind of talk about some of the things that they really appreciated about it and how, you know, how much the course helped them and my coaching help them.

00:39:59:15 - 00:40:15:00
Unknown
But then every single one of them was like it was a script. Said, man, I just this brotherhood is so powerful now, like, these men that I can rely on is so powerful. And that was what I was hoping they were going to realize through this process is that, like, I'm pretty good. I'm going to teach some really good stuff.

00:40:15:00 - 00:40:32:20
Unknown
I'm a smart guy, but like, that's great and all, but these relationships are like, this is supercharging your growth, right? And now you have this team with you moving forward. It's not like, oh, you graduated. Now you guys are done forever. Like, no, you can still call each other. You know, it's not over. So that's kind of at a high level.

00:40:32:20 - 00:40:46:09
Unknown
Some of the wins there. But you know it's a little bit it depends because it kind of depends on who the man is and where he's really struggling. Right. So some guys are coming to me because they're like, oh, you know, I never had a dad. And so I don't even know where to begin. I don't know how to say no to people.

00:40:46:09 - 00:41:00:02
Unknown
So, you know, breaking that people pleasing is really a big thing for him. Other guys, it's I need to lose some weight. So just getting them in motion on the fitness stuff is is really their biggest gains. Other guys are like, hey, our marriage is struggling. I need to learn how to do better there. So it's kind of all over the board.

00:41:00:04 - 00:41:17:08
Unknown
And again, that's by design because men aren't one dimensional creatures. You're probably involved in a lot of things. You need to understand how to apply these leadership skills and and principles across the board. If you only focus on one little area, you're kind of missing the rest of life, you know? So again, that's back to the concepts.

00:41:17:10 - 00:41:37:21
Unknown
And these guys really you can see it and they say it too. Like just how much more, confident they are to just go make any decision wherever it is because they're independent now. They've gained the tools. It's interesting. A lot of times when I face a struggle, if I vocalize what I'm struggling with or here are the steps that I think I should be taking.

00:41:37:21 - 00:41:51:12
Unknown
But I just can't figure out how, almost like people come out of the woodwork to tell me, oh, I've dealt with the same thing, or I've had the same problems. Oh, and you don't realize, you know. Yeah. And that's why that brotherhood can be so valuable. So let's say that I was like, you know, real low self-confidence.

00:41:51:12 - 00:42:12:20
Unknown
And I was not really outgoing. Like, I kind of bam. But how how do you get men that clearly have the fundamentals right? They may know the path, but they can't execute it. How do you get them out of their shell, in a way, out of their cocoon? To join a brotherhood like this is that is it? Is it by saying, hey, you fat slob, get off your couch and come here now or you're going to lose.

00:42:12:20 - 00:42:35:07
Unknown
You know, it obviously can't be like that, but how do you kind of balance that? I know what you've called it before. And I'll say it, the poke in the chest right here with that nurturing, empathetic kind of coaching vibe. How do you balance that? Yeah. So, you know, I kind of think back to like, well, what were the things that I was struggling with and, and who was the one who gave me the wakeup call that I needed to to really start taking ownership?

00:42:35:07 - 00:42:54:02
Unknown
And it was it was a poke in the chest. It wasn't a you, George, let's talk about your problems. It was, hey, brother. You're wrong. Absolutely not. This is where you need to get to. Oh, okay. Well, I respect that guy. That kind of stung a little bit. Maybe I need to get different. Right. But to your point, you know, I, I try to relate it to my personal experience heavily.

00:42:54:02 - 00:43:08:20
Unknown
Right this way. I'm very open with sharing my story, the things that I have failed in, because I know that that's what most other men are probably feeling too. Maybe they've done a different thing, or they've struggled slightly different ways. But it's kind of back to that root cause of I just don't know what to do. Right?

00:43:08:20 - 00:43:22:19
Unknown
Most guys are just so stuck with like, inaction. They don't know what to do. You know, so that's really what I tried to relate to the most. I'm not here to name call you or any that kind of stuff. If you are overweight, I'm not going to judge you for it. I'm going to. I want you to recognize that.

00:43:22:19 - 00:43:52:09
Unknown
Hey, I need help in this. And then. Okay, great. Let's get to work. Let's let's get progress. You know, it's not about being perfect. It's about just taking ownership of it and start taking action against whatever you are. Limitation is, and so you're getting guys in, right? I try to make that emotional connection through my story by sharing what I failed in and how I've struggled because, like you were alluding to, this is, again, a very common thing every man says throughout at one point through the program, like, wow, I thought I was the only one.

00:43:52:14 - 00:44:12:18
Unknown
And then they realize that, like, literally all the other guys had the exact same thought, probably every single lot. And yeah, and I think that's where kind of the whole, you know, oh, it's by design in the systems against us, I really do. I think there has been a concerted effort to make men think they're the only one that thinks the way they do, or the only one who, you know, struggles with porn or, you know, has these negative thoughts.

00:44:12:18 - 00:44:30:17
Unknown
And it's like, bro, like all of us have those problems, right? You're a man. You probably have these seven problems, you know, and the when you realize that you're not the only one with it, there's a lot of lightning. The load that happens simply just from that understanding with like, guys you're meeting on a weekly basis, it's weird.

00:44:30:20 - 00:44:48:18
Unknown
It's really hard to quantify that. But I can't really give that to a guy yet until he gets off the bench and gets in the game. And so that's where I have to start with kind of it needs to sting enough to be like, oh crap, that was me. I need help now. Right? That's that's kind of my strategy there.

00:44:48:18 - 00:45:05:10
Unknown
And it's not it's not to manipulate. It should try and help men get out of their own way to become a man. They need to be, because that's absolutely what I needed. I needed a very firm touch. And I'm. I'm kind of stubborn. I'm pretty hard headed. So. Yeah, I need a few pokes in the chest. Not just one on that.

00:45:05:12 - 00:45:22:07
Unknown
So I'm sure you don't want to give off this, this image of perfect, perfection. I'm sorry. I you know, not what I like about you is that you always are so honest. And for me, one of my biggest struggles before my son was born was I definitely had a temper and patience issue. I was one of those guys who goes from 0 to 100 very mercury.

00:45:22:08 - 00:45:36:03
Unknown
I like to be happy. One moment and one little thing just set me off. Thankfully, that's something I'm very happy that I was able to work on. But now my next phase is to get physical fitness going on next year. I've just been, you know, keyboard warrior. The professional life catches up on you and you become a bump on a log.

00:45:36:07 - 00:45:54:15
Unknown
So now I know that I'm going to be taking it into the next year with some stuff that you've, you know, really conquered in the recent. You want to, you know, chant some of your W's that you've made recently. What are you working on yourself? You know, improvement. Right. Because again role on a lifelong journey here. Yeah. So you know, I've the last couple years for me have just been like exponential growth.

00:45:54:15 - 00:46:11:12
Unknown
And that's not just a me thing, right? I'm not some exceptional dude. Like I'm not something special. It's just how this works, guys. When you when you get to a certain level, things really start to accelerate for you. And again, that's by design. It's not like some accident. I'm not the exception to the rule. It's just how it goes.

00:46:11:13 - 00:46:42:22
Unknown
But so the last couple years have been really, really explosive in that regard. Right? I just feel like I've gotten to just like level 100, and now I realize it's like up to a level thousand, right? So I can just keep going. But where I've really personally had to, really put a lot of effort into and ensure that, like, my natural tendencies are in check is, in my marriage with my wife and, you know, she's had some health stuff going on with her thyroid, and I'm not going to go to, like, all the details, but, you know, it's a it's a long, frustrating process to try and start getting real answers on

00:46:42:22 - 00:47:01:01
Unknown
this stuff. And you have to try so many different things before you can actually pinpoint what the problem is. And, so it's been, you know, the last like year, honestly, working through that with her. And so I've had to grow in my grace, my patience, my understanding and compassion and empathy for her. And, hang on.

00:47:01:01 - 00:47:06:18
Unknown
I've had the little one coming to that. By all means. Well.

00:47:06:20 - 00:47:22:12
Unknown
I'll see you later. That's awesome, I love that. Yeah. Good for you, man. Yep. So. And then, you know, being present to building a business and all that stuff. But with my wife specifically, you know, I, you know, I can really relate to what you're saying, like, of kind of you were one guy, one second, then blowing up the next.

00:47:22:12 - 00:47:38:04
Unknown
And that was me, right? I was very emotionally charged. And I would fly off the handle really quickly, and then I'd mask it as, oh, I'm just passionate, bro. I just get fired up about what I care about. You know? You just don't understand. That's not really great masculine leadership right there. Right? Well, actually, I'm gonna cut you off.

00:47:38:04 - 00:48:02:09
Unknown
So talk to us a little bit about stoicism, because of course, I'm the same way. I don't even wait in a line at Walgreens. I'll just put my things on the floor, not even back, and walk out of the store. That's how impatient I am. So. But the opposite of that, right? Without we had this emotional anger reaction, which is what my next natural inclination would be, is to then be not stoic, because that might be the word that I want you to describe the perfect, the perfect idealism of that.

00:48:02:14 - 00:48:28:01
Unknown
But I become this, this kind of like this shut down. I become a stone figure where I eliminate emotion. And actually, maybe I do need good emotions, right? Not anger, but maybe funnel that somehow. So how do you approach or define stoicism? Yeah. So very succinctly, stoicism is in the absence of emotion. It's the control over emotion. And so like you were saying, that shut down.

00:48:28:01 - 00:48:45:03
Unknown
I think it's what most men naturally do because like, well, it's better if I just shut it down than if I blow up, right? Maybe maybe that's true. But it's, I think, just as harmful because now you're the one stifling up all this stuff, and you're just, like a ticking time bomb. So at some point, you're going to blow anyway, right?

00:48:45:05 - 00:49:07:02
Unknown
The the other reason that's so damaging is because you just start to think about things really negative to, and then you're totally detached from everyone that needs your connection. So, you know, men are designed for connection. It's not a feminine only thing men should have in deep connection, especially with other masculine friends. You obviously want to connect with your wife.

00:49:07:02 - 00:49:21:11
Unknown
You want to connect with your kids too. And it's on men to actually be the initiators of that, right? You were supposed to be the tip of the spear. So if your wife is kind of struggling with something, you should be the one to cover that ground and be like, hey honey, are you stressed or fearful right now?

00:49:21:13 - 00:49:37:04
Unknown
Yeah, I am okay. Well, can you help me understand? Right. That's on you to cover that ground. Like it's like, no, she needs to handle her stuff. Okay, so you're just going to let this woman struggle on her own, and you're not going to help her? How masculine of you. You're right. So, you know, we can really tear these things down really fast.

00:49:37:04 - 00:49:55:02
Unknown
But the stoicism piece doesn't mean you just shut it all down. It's like, okay, because my tendency was this right, let's get very personal here. I was, you know, the way I was raised, I'm very defensive. And George wants to fight really quick because if I just defeat this thing first, then it can't harm me, right? That's my survival mechanism.

00:49:55:04 - 00:50:12:01
Unknown
And so if my wife's emotions made me feel that way, I would try and, like, squash it before she could hurt me with that. Right. And then as I've grown, I've realized has nothing to do with me. She's just feeling this emotion because of her past or of her thing. Or maybe it's her time of the month.

00:50:12:01 - 00:50:31:23
Unknown
Like, I don't say that insultingly, but her emotions are just amped up. So instead of getting defensive, I need to have that. I feel the urge initially like, ooh, scary. I don't like that. I got to wrestle with it. And then stoicism is responding, not reacting. Right. And so then I can now have this conversation with her of like, well, hey, babe, like, help me understand what's going on here.

00:50:31:23 - 00:50:55:02
Unknown
And now I can help her with her emotions and I'm not affected by them because I'm like in this masculine presence, instead of reacting like teenage George did. Right? Or in your case, shut down. I'm like, well, those are her emotions. That's her problem. You up? Right. So that's how I would define stoicism for men and where need emotional regulation and emotional intelligence to to read the other person.

00:50:55:04 - 00:51:17:00
Unknown
On that emotional level, I think that's what separates great men from good ones is, you know, they're all these things, right? They're fit. They're they're, you know, movers and shakers. They build businesses, they get things done, make impact. They're also very, very emotionally intelligent. And I think that's kind of this glue, the human connection piece that you can't ignore as a man.

00:51:17:00 - 00:51:34:18
Unknown
You need that. It fulfills you. But it also it's it. That's what gives the connection for leadership to exist in the first place. Right. The trust and kind of the, the respect piece. Well, I'm sorry, go ahead. Cooper I was gonna say, if a guy comes to you and he goes, hey, I'm not really a leader. I'm not a natural leader.

00:51:34:20 - 00:51:50:18
Unknown
Do you see that as, like, inherently bad? I've never dealt with that myself. But I see a lot of guys that, you know, they kind of have look to me in my personal life, my past. See, like, what do you think Cooper and I always like, don't you guys want to make a decision? I would personally see that as, like, a character flaw.

00:51:50:18 - 00:52:08:09
Unknown
If someone was like, oh, I don't bead. I don't want to be a leader. I'm a follower. You were shaking your head a little bit, as if you disagreed. You know, I think the concept of like a natural born leader is a myth. I mean, there may be 1 or 2, but, I mean, we're talking such an astronomically small number that you might as well just say they don't exist.

00:52:08:09 - 00:52:25:04
Unknown
Right? That's how few of them I actually think there are, leaders are forged. They're not born straight up. You know, the all the dudes that I look up to are kind of my mentors and stuff, and they're absolutely leaders that just wake up one day and be that. That took a lot of work. It took a lot of them doing the exact same process to get to that point.

00:52:25:06 - 00:52:43:14
Unknown
And that's really how all of we are. And again, you have your natural giftings. You have your natural strengths and weaknesses. So every leader's going to look a little bit different. And it's not the leading doesn't mean like founder of a company right. Or CEO or something. You can have leadership skills and apply them in day to day life without being in the position of leadership.

00:52:43:20 - 00:53:05:11
Unknown
Right? Right. So actually, if somebody says I'm not a leader, it's actually negative self-talk in a way. Right? Absolutely. Yeah. It's a limiting beliefs to think, oh, I don't have enough authority to make a difference or it's or it's cowardice veiled as politeness, where, you know, well, they don't want to be seen as arrogant or like, you know, acting like they think too highly themselves.

00:53:05:11 - 00:53:26:15
Unknown
But in reality, it's the cowardice to make a decision that there are too afraid to make any decision, that they just mask it as well. No, no, no, I'm not a leader. So you choose, right? It's it's it's kind of, people pleasing to in a way. Yeah. But that cowardice there, that's why it's so destructive to for men is because deep down, you don't want to be a coward.

00:53:26:17 - 00:53:45:00
Unknown
But, you know, you just did what you did. Subconsciously, maybe. But it starts to well up within you. And that becomes now your new programing, your narrative that's running in your head, like the software in your computer every single day. How do you think you're you're going to start showing up in the world? If that's all you know and all you think about?

00:53:45:02 - 00:54:09:14
Unknown
It's a great point. I really appreciate that you talk about that. The last pillar there about being tenderness and expressing emotions, right. Because, sure, you have the archetypal man who is always calm, cool, collected, but he never sheds a tear, or he never feels any other emotion besides bravery and courage and calls to action. I think what happens to a lot of men, too, is they fall into this, rut of just checking boxes in their marriage, just saying.

00:54:09:16 - 00:54:28:00
Unknown
Oh, I'm here, I showed up, I went to work, I paid the bills, I gave my wife a kiss on the cheek and said goodnight. But I think it's a lot more than that, right? It's a very active process to be present. So could you talk us a little bit more because again, another you're, you know, very exemplary in this regard is it's it's not a passive process like a marriage is very, very active.

00:54:28:01 - 00:54:46:06
Unknown
Yeah. And I think this is where, you know, like, we can tie it to legacy here. You know, the number one legacy men should be worried about building is the strength of the relationships in their home, in their immediate family, because that's what's really going to make that generational impact. It's not necessarily the money you make the sure that plays into it and all these types of things.

00:54:46:06 - 00:55:11:16
Unknown
Right. But that's all secondary to the relationship piece. So if you don't even cultivate the great relationships, you know, everything else is kind of for or not. You know, if I had a client, potential client reached out right before this podcast, you know, they filled out my application. Super successful dad. You know, the big military commander guy, and we're talking stars, you know, and basically said, you know, he was never there for me.

00:55:11:18 - 00:55:34:18
Unknown
So that guy basically picked career over family, right? And so now this guy is this broken man coming to me because of his upbringing. So that's why the home piece is so important there. But back to the question of like how to strengthen the marriage and focus that again, if you're thinking in terms of generations and just play the numbers game of like, well, what's what gives my offspring and their offspring the best chance of making it?

00:55:34:20 - 00:55:55:13
Unknown
Well, it's to have the strongest possible marriage because that's the that's the covering of all the other relationships. Is mom and dad loving each other? And then the kids feel safer underneath that. Right. And so if you sacrifice that for a career or something else, you know, sports or whatever, you're basically trading the health of your family for that thing.

00:55:55:17 - 00:56:11:01
Unknown
So number one is don't stop dating your wife ever. Never stop dating your wife. A mentor of mine, John Michael Clark, who runs this thing called the Family captain. He put it like, this way. He's like, you should treat her like your girlfriend. Continue to treat her like a girlfriend. Like, don't fart in front of her.

00:56:11:03 - 00:56:28:19
Unknown
Be, you know, be charming. Be all like, be Prince Charming. Still, that's who she married. She married the version of you that was pursuing her. Now she's not your mission. Make no mistake. She's not the goal. Your goal and purpose is bigger than just your wife. She's on the journey with you. She wants to be on the journey with you.

00:56:28:19 - 00:56:49:05
Unknown
She wants to be swept up in and taken on the adventure. So if you kind of start focusing in that way, it's a lot easier to have that boyfriend energy and make her feel, you know, have her heart flutter again and all that kind of stuff. And it's little things too, right? It's not. I think a lot of guys think that in order to, create, you know, these really strong marriages, you have to do these massive gestures, right?

00:56:49:05 - 00:57:07:19
Unknown
Huge vacations or huge things or whatever. You can do little things that cost basically no money. Some of our best trips have been like we used hotel points and went to Nashville, which is 30 minutes from my house and just stayed the night in a hotel in Nashville, right? Yeah, with points I already had. So we basically spent no money.

00:57:07:21 - 00:57:25:10
Unknown
And those are some of the most memorable dates my wife and I have. It's nothing fancy, is just basic, but it's the it's intention and the consistency with which you do that. But, you know, if you're a married man with kids, your number one responsibility is to your wife and strengthening your marriage to the maximum level, because that is loving your kids better.

00:57:25:13 - 00:57:42:19
Unknown
If you only live for the kids, there's two things that happen. One, you signal to them that they are on the same level as mom and dad, and that terrifies them because now they have to be an adult. They're thinking that subconsciously they don't actually process it. But this is where problems start. You're exactly right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:42:20 - 00:58:03:08
Unknown
But then number two, what happens when they move up, you know, grow up and move out? You don't have a marriage. You've been roommates, you lived for the kids. You don't actually have a marriage that you've cultivated. So you know, men, it's again your responsibility to to foster that and to cultivate it. And whatever the state you're in right now, you need to start taking steps to own that.

00:58:03:13 - 00:58:19:04
Unknown
Even if she's wrong in some stuff and she's pushing back or whatever, it's still your responsibility, right? So you need to figure out you got to play the game and figure it out, to, to move towards progress. Yeah, man. Well, hey, today we I feel like I should be paying you for a TedTalk here because this is like a masterclass.

00:58:19:10 - 00:58:35:02
Unknown
I really I'm grateful, George, but, as a way to get you back, why don't you tell everybody that's listening where they can find you? How they can get in touch with you and why they should. Of course, they already know. If you're on X, that's probably the best platform to to engage with me on social media.

00:58:35:02 - 00:58:56:09
Unknown
It's at Elite Centennial X. The website is the Elite sentinel.com. You know, if you're interested in the program, there's an application you can just click and fill out. I get it directly. I will directly respond to you. We'll hop on a call and see if it's a good mutual fit, and we'll get you going. If you're just looking to hang out and kind of learn for me, yeah, definitely follow me on X.

00:58:56:09 - 00:59:12:15
Unknown
I post stuff like this all the time. You know, threads that talk about these different subjects. And you can start kind of learning for free if you want. Say hi to me and, yeah, man, that's probably the best places to do it. We obviously have the President Fathers podcast on YouTube and all the other channels too.

00:59:12:17 - 00:59:26:06
Unknown
We talk about a lot of these subjects too, but it's less of me and a lot more of our guests, obviously. So do you want to hear a little less, George and a little bit more of other people go there for sure. But those are probably the best places to to reach me and, Yeah, say hi, man.

00:59:26:06 - 00:59:43:01
Unknown
Well, guys, go find George. I mean, we talk a lot about politics on this show, and history, but we also try to bring this masculine or this fatherhood kind of vibe and go see President Fathers podcast, and that's what they do. If that's what you want, they are really the beacons of that stuff. So George, thank you so, so much.

00:59:43:01 - 01:00:01:20
Unknown
Really grateful to have you tonight. You're an awesome guy. You're definitely a role model that leads by example. And actually I'm just going to say I'm leaving here today thinking maybe I should reinvest in my own faith and my spirituality and kind of get on the same page with my family with that one, because it would be good to put that into my kid's life, as he's only one and a half now.

01:00:02:02 - 01:00:27:17
Unknown
And, I don't want to take that from him. I want to try to show him that that's something that we value, too. So I'm going to think on that. So thanks for bringing that to me today as well, man. Yeah, brother. Awesome. You know, I'll just close real quick, if I may, or, you know, the, if the most valuable thing you can provide your family as a man is to become a better man, to grow, to take the hard, you know, challenges that you need to do to grow up, and love them better, right?

01:00:27:17 - 01:00:44:08
Unknown
Because if you increase your capacity, you will just increase the ways in which you can bless your family. So, you know, if you're kind of struggling with that dad guilt, I want you to know that it's okay to actually prioritize yourself and invest in yourself in ways maybe it's not me. Maybe it's something else. That's fine.

01:00:44:08 - 01:01:02:20
Unknown
You know, I may not be your guy, but prioritizing yourself enough to continue to improve is loving your family because they will get a better, more fulfilled, happy present father in their lives. As opposed to the guy who's salty, stressed, angry, lonely, tired, and yearning for more. So, I love you guys. Thanks for having me on.

01:01:02:20 - 01:01:25:02
Unknown
And, you know, it's just been a pleasure to get to work with you guys and, of course, engage you guys on all the time. Likewise. Thank you very much for your time, George. Mike drew the line now. All right. This has been elevated. Thoughts.